Declaration of Independence

Jacob: Daddy, excuse me.
Daddy: Yes Jacob?
Jacob: When you go to Washington DC today, there is a museum with a piece of paper that has lots of signature on it.
Mom: That's the Declaration of Independence.
Daddy: That's in the National Archive
Jacob: Could you bring it back?

Joey the Comedian

One of Joey's favorite show is Dora the Explorer. The following explanation is for David. On the shower, there is a fox named Swiper. He is always sneaking off with other people's stuff. You have to tell him Swiper no swiping 3 times to stop him from taking your stuff. You think these shows are supposed to teach your kids good values. Well, what it taught Joey is the swiping part. He like to sneak off with our stuff, and he would laugh and giggle, and announce that he is Swiper the Fox. The kicker is once he "swipe" your stuff, he comes to you and asks, I am funny, right? Okay, it's pretty funny and cute, but very often we can't find the items that he swiped.

Biography

Here is Jacob's impression of me, as you can see from the attached file.

:(

Joey can't go swimming because the chlorine irritates his skin and makes his eczema worse.

Jacob started his swim lessons Monday thru Thursday after school. On Tuesday, Joey wanted to come with us to the swim lesson, so I took him with us. Joey was very happy and excited. He runs into our swim club and announces "This is Jacob's pool. I can't go swimming, I am allergic."

I am so sad :(

Baby Shower

Mom: Jacob, I am going to a baby shower today. I have to go by myself, I can't take you with me.

Jacob: How long will it take?

Mom: Two hours.

Jacob: Is it noon yet?

Mom: No, it's almost noon.

Jacob: How many hours until it's dark?

Mom: Eight hours.

Jacob: Yeah, that means you will be back way before it's dark.

Jacob: Mom, are you going to watch a tiny baby take a shower?

We Need a 4th Bedroom

We've move Joey out of his crib and put a toddler bed in Jacob's room. So now Jacob and Joey are sharing the same room. The idea was that Joey would sleep in the toddler bed, but it's not working out this way. Joey usually would climb into Jacob's bed. After kicking Jacob a few times, Jacob would move into the toddler bed and they would sleep through the night with this arrangement. Well, last night, Jacob woke up around 1:00 a.m. to use the bathroom. When he came back to bed, he got into his own bed instead of the toddler bed. That woke Joey up and Joey had a fit. He started screaming, this is my bed, I was in it first. I don't want Jacob in my bed. Jacob was so tired, he slept through the screams. But Joey was so upset, we had to move him to our room, and even in our room, he was still crying, it's my bed. I was there first.

Tao Traits

I took Jacob for a professional haircut for the first time last Saturday. I think he really enjoyed the experience. The salon had motorcycles and cars for the kids to sit in while getting their haircut. After the cut, the hair dresser asked if I wanted gel in Jacob's hair, and I said sure, let's see how it looks when it's styled. I've never put gel in his hair before. His teacher at school did once during graduation performance last year.

After the haircut, I noticed that there's some hair on his face and neck and he was itchy. So I told him we can go home and take a shower to wash the hair off of his face and neck. He looked at me and said "mom, we can't do that." I asked "Why?" Jacob replies "You will wash the gel out of my hair." I said "But you are itchy, we have to wash the hair off so you won't be itchy." Jacob replied "I am not itchy anymore."

That was Saturday. So on Monday morning, I was helping Jacob getting ready for school. I asked him if he wanted gel in his hair. He was excited and was very cooperative when I was combing his hair while I was getting the gel on. He usually hates getting his hair combed and moves his head all over the place when I am trying to comb his hair.

So what's the moral of this story. He finally inherited some traits from his mother, vanity. Yeah!!